Among people who are interested in personal development and psychology, a few voices are saying in essence: let’s stop frantically looking for happiness, it’s silly, it’s useless, and it’s futile. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, a book by Mark Manson, a New York blogger and writer, reminds us of some ideas on this subject.
Happiness is on the way
We think of happiness as a cherry on the cake, as something we could “pick up, get, reach.” We think of it as the success of a thousand-piece Lego: “When I get there when my Lego is finished, I’ll be happy. “But if we sometimes find happiness on our way, it’s more when we’re on the road, building this Lego, working out a… problem.
Wherever we are, wherever we go, difficulties await us, so we might as well welcome all this in a sporting way and make it a challenge rather than sadness. By respecting problems, cherishing them, solving things one by one, while remembering that what we address today will very quickly be replaced by another boredom, we become less worried, less in a hurry, we slow down, we take an interest in what we are living, we make life as it is, we make it as a beautiful and long walk with sometimes a few battles.
Indeed, life is made of problems to be solved, so it would be a good idea to love them and make them respectable ingredients rather than denying or repressing them. One of the ways to be happy (the one Manson suggests) is to identify the problems we want to have and to solve them.
Dissatisfaction is natural
Living and cohabiting with oneself while periodically experiencing resentment and a feeling of unease is also normal. Suffering and insecurity are, in fact, the only tools our body has to tell us: “Come on, it’s time to get off your butt. “So when we’re not running, we can simply try to listen better to understand what our body or head wants to tell us.
The small problems
Sometimes you get caught up in silly small problems: someone took your usual parking space, your favorite show blew up, X didn’t call you back? It’s better not to make this kind of problem a priority. It’s better to save your energy for exciting problems.
Practicing the Law of Reverse Effort
Another suggestion from Mark Manson: the more you try to feel good, the worse it will be. The more you repeat yourself in front of the mirror that you think you’re beautiful, the more you show your doubt about your beauty! By stopping this race to be even more attractive, more excellent, more perfect, we could relax.